The other night Mama and my Pop and I went out for Italian Ices at our favorite neighborhood pizza place, Rizzo’s! They have the most delicious pizza in the entire neighborhood. I first at there when I was only a few days old. Well… ok… so I didn’t eat… I slept and looked cute. But Mama and Daddy ate, and I have since then gotten to try the sauce. It’s perfect! Their ices are the bestest too. 

So the other night we were on our way over for ices, and Pop pointed out this sign in the window of a nearby store: 

Mama and Pop thought it was kinda funny, cuz my Pop really likes that show. Mama hasn’t seen it too much, but whatever my Pop loves, she loves for making him happy. Then we ventured onward for our ices. 

Mama completely forgot about this flyer shortly thereafter, and yesterday decided to take me to Steinway in order to get some clothes shopping done for the fall. We saw all of these trailers parked along the street, and Mama told me this is no big deal for the neighborhood because we live right near the film studios. It’s all par for the course. As we were walking by them, a very nice man working there noticed my kick-butt temporary tattoo on my leg of the heart, sparrows and ribbon that says “Mom”. Mama heard him say something about it that made her smile, so she spun me around to meet more people the way she always likes to do. Everybody was so nice! She asked them what movie they were filming, and they told her it wasn’t for a movie, it was 30 Rock. Then she remembered the flyer and said “OH! Oh yeah, OK!” and explained to me that THIS is how the magic box in the living room works! The one they don’t really let me watch yet? I always thought that there were little people living inside, who put on funny plays for us behind the screen. But now I realize that they don’t live in the TV at all! They live in homes like I do, and go to places near where I live to act things out. They are called “actors” because they act. And the nice people I met who I played with for a while? They are magicians who do magic spells that make the image of the play the actors are doing show up on the screen at home! The screen on the front of the magic box! Isn’t that freaking AMAZING?!?!?!!! So I got to hang out with the magicians for a while, and they showed me all of their cool stuff they do spells with. I’m friends with them now! They pretty much rock. 

These guys were AWESOME! I really liked them lots and LOTS! They are my new buddies. We are talking TOTAL bromance. We are TIGHT now. 

Here I am, distracted by watching the filming: 

This lady was really nice and fun too! She had pretty eyes. I liked her lots. I asked for her number, but she thought I was just babbling. Just as well. I’m too young to commit right now. I’m just enjoying playing the field. 

See? ;^)

I met so many people yesterday! Even though Mama and I had been in the Childrens Place a long time ago before, she was having trouble remembering where it was. So we we walked down the wrong way on the street trying to find it again, and some man mommy likes named Kelsey Grammer walked by. He was walking the tiniest little doggie! I got VERY excited, because, as you can imagine, I think doggies are AWESOME. I screeched and kicked my legs and reached for the doggie, and gave him the biggest grin! Mama told me who the doggie’s daddy was, and I tried to get her to say hi to him but she didn’t want to bother him. She said “What do I look like to you, a tourist?” So she left him alone, even though she was super excited. This was the first time I can remember her not asking someone she likes to hold me for a photo op for my blog! Crazy! 

So after being passed around some more, I started to get sleepy, and something Mama calls “overstimulated”. Whatever THAT means. I was being held by my buddy with the glasses from the first picture (he was SO SO SOOOO NICE. I wonder if he would like to have a playdate in the park with me sometime? We could play on the swings and chat about our diaper preferences n stuff!), when I suddenly realized I was ready for my nap. I pouted and cried a little into his neck and gave him a snuggle before he passed me back to Mama. She thanked all of our new magician friends for showing me how they do their magic, and for being so nice to us, and then walked over to The Children’s Place. They were having a big sale! But that’s all I remember because I completely passed out and slept the entire way home. 

Astoria is SO awesome. WOOT! 

On Thursday, I was sitting in my office getting some work done. For those of you who haven’t seen it, this is my office: 

Yup, it’s one helluva cubicle! 

Anyhoo, so I was sitting in my office, working a bit overtime because I had a big project to work on that involved that big purple button. All of a sudden, the sky turned this wild crazy blackish-green color. Mama looked out the open windows (it had been breezy all day, so she likes to open them whenever that happens cuz it feels sorta nice), and she got this worried look on her face. She turned on the big magic box and one of the people living inside of it told her she should get to a room with no windows towards the center of the apartment. Then the sky started flashing white right outside with these loud crackly noises, and it was SO SO SOOOOOOO LOUD!!!! It sounded like a whip that was snapping all around us over and over and over again. So the room would go from being very very dark, to being bright white before going super dark again. Then a bunch of giant ice cubes started falling really fast from the sky! 

IT WAS AWESOMMMMEEEEE!!!!!!

Mama scooped me up and flung me over her shoulder, and then ran with me into the big closet in the bedroom. The whole way, as all the loud crackly sounds happened and the room was blinking white, black, white, black, white, black, I thrust my fists up into the air and shrieked wildly. I LOVED IT! It was so neato looking, just like fireworks on the Fourth of July! And I loved that. So this was even FUNNER!!! 

We got into the closet, and Mama didn’t want me to see her feeling scared. I could tell. So she kept singing songs to me, and bouncing me around. But it was hot and stuffy in there, and I wanted to see more of the big show outside! I WAS MISSING THE SHOW!!!

NOT cool, lady. Not cool at all. >=^(

So I yelled at her a lot. “GET ME OUTTA THIS CLOSET, NOW!”. She just sang even louder. But I didn’t WANT to hear “I’ve Been Working On The Railroad” again. I wanted to see the big show in the sky! So I let her know about it. I was really REALLY good at letting her know. ;^) 

Finally, she peeked out and the sky was a lighter shade of gray. And the crackling noises and flashes had stopped, and the balls of ice were all gone too. So we got to tiptoe out, and she immediately went to change my diaper. But if you ask me, I think SHE needed a changing way more than *I* ever did! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 

Yup. That was one helluva storm. 

Mama does the WORST Joe Pesci impersonation I have ever heard in all my life. And I’ve been alive for 6 whole months already! Fer serious. She really sucks at it. It’s HILARIOUS. 

I cannot stop laughing at her no matter how hard I try. She is freakin’ RIDICULOUS!!! Gawd, I love her. =^) 

Here’s the video. Grab your bag of kettlecorn and enjoy! 

Mama and Pop are trying to get me used to wearing cloth diapers. It’s different, but I think I like it! I like all of the different colors and pictures on them. It’s just another way for me to make sure my ass looks super stylin’. 

Pun intended. 

BOOYAHHH!!! 

Enough people on the subway and throughout Astoria asked me if I had my own FB page, that my Mama and Pop finally made me one. They thought people were joking at first. Pop would say, “What does he need a FB for? He’s a BABY!”, and mama would say “…but he can’t even TYPE.” And then they remembered that a couple of my little buddies have their own page, so why not? I am SO EXCITED!!! 

So excited I pooped my pants. 

HAHAHAHA!!!! 

Finally, a Ralph Thelonious facebook page. Well it’s about freakin’ time. 

PS: I plan to poke you. (IN THE EYE!!!!!)

To the ladies at the local organic market and cafe around the corner from where I live, I promised you all a shout out on my blog. Especially to you, Jessica. All my ladiez at the The Natural Food Market really are the best. You spot me flirting with you while you sit at your table with your carrot juice, tofu, and shots of wheatgrass, and you beg to hold me for kisses and photo ops. I love it. I love the ladiez. Thanks for all of the good times. Ohhhh yeahhhh…. 

Mama and Pop took me to Coney Island the other weekend, for their annual Coney Island Sweetheart Pet Pageant. And if you click on that link (it’s for Metromix NY) and then peek precisely 5 pictures in, what do you see?

BOOYAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

This nice purple-haired lady was super friendly, and I liked her pet lobster too. (She entered her pet lobster into the pageant. Can you believe that? I mean… who DOES that?!? But regardless…) She insisted that I try out for Coney Island Baby next year. Their very first baby pageant. I am SO there.

After enjoying the show, which was held at the Sideshow By The Seashore (and was a fund raiser for BARC Animal Shelter), I got to meet the sideshow’s star fire eater, INSECTAVORA!!! She is super pretty, and very very talented, and I got very excited when she thought I was cute too, and wanted to hold me. That is, UNTIL SHE TRIED TO EAT ME!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

But then she said “JUST KIDDINGGGG!!!” and laughed, and little did she know how big that mess was that I pooped in my diaper right above her hand. WHEW!!! Glad she was just joking around!

So after I tried sucking on her dread locks while I gazed into her eyes (that’s how I say “I love you.” Please make note), Mama and Pop whisked me away TO…

DA! DA! DAAAAAAAA!!!!! :

NATHAN’S HOT DOGS! Where Papa used to take my Pop when he was a little boy just like me. Here we even recreated a photo that Papa took with Pop a few hundred years ago back in dinosaur times:

One day I’m gonna get to eat one too! Then it was off to Luna Park, where I caught a little shut-eye while Mama and Pop sized up the rides. After that, they took me to The NY Aquarium at Coney Island, where I got to look at fishies all day long. SCORE!!!!! 

Then it was off to Brighton Beach for some Russian Sushi for them, and more breast milk for me. But Pop let me sit on his lap and play with his menu and napkin, which was a BLAST. If you have not ever taken the opportunity to sit on your father’s lap and play with his napkin and menu, you should. I HIGHLY recommend it.

We sat outside with their dinner and coffee for dessert, and watched the sun go down. (It lowers in the sky and goes to sleep too! Just like I eventually did.) Yep! Life is pretty schweet. What can I say? It’s good to be “The Monk”.

LITERALLY! I had my first cold a few weeks ago, and I can honestly say, now that I have been open-minded enough to have tried one, that I do NOT LIKE THEM. Not ONE bit. The part that made me the maddest was when Mama would try to suck my boogers out with this tiny little vacuum gizmo so I could breathe again. And while I must admit, I AM a fan of breathing easily (it feels nice!), I am NOT a fan of being held down while some huge noisy thing that tries to disguise itself as baby-friendly just by playing a tinny version of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” gets jammed up my adorable little nostrils. NOT COOL. So glad THAT experience is over! Mama and Pop tell me that I should try everything at least once, just to see if I like it. And I did try it. I tried the cold. I did NOT like it, so therefore I have decided to never have one EVER again. And that little star can twinkle twinkle where the sun don’t shine.

On account of I partied on it last weekend! Mama and Aunt Niki took AJ and I to this super fun party up on a roof, where grown-ups wore silly costumes and danced to funky music. AJ and I got to meet lots of interesting people dressed like all sorts of silly things! Aunt Niki made our costumes. AJ’s and mine. We were dressed like cute sparkly gnome thingies! And a man dressed like a clown stood behind a table that played music, while everybody danced the night away. AJ and I fell asleep pretty early on, but I was told that, despite this embarrassing fact, we were STILL the life of the party. 

Kostume Kult FreaKKshow 2010

Let’s not mince words here. I like to poop in the tub. 

It just FEELS GOOD. Besides which, as I believe I have already established, poop is HELLA funny. No siree. Not much better than that! 

My newfound joy doesn’t thrill Mama nearly as much as it thrills me, however. Apparently, she is then left with the heavyweight chore of balancing me in one arm, while she uses the other to dump out my tub, rinse it, and fill it all back up again so that she can wash all of the little bits of poop that have stuck to me. On account of I like to poop in the tub. 

I am a lad of simple pleasures. =^) 

Aunt Niki thought I should celebrate my 5 month birthday by taking me to this place called Sears, and landing me a job in their portrait studio as a supermodel. Apparently, she’s got mad connections because she totally pulled it off, so I’m a supermodel now. Cousin AJ (he’s 4 months old) went too, and we both did incredibly awesome. I’m fairly convinced that we both have a future in modeling. We might even become famous. But if we do, we made a pact with each other that we will never let any girls come between us. No matter how big of a fan of ours they might turn out to be. I told AJ on Sunday, “Remember, dude. Seriously. Bros before hoes”. To which he nodded and replied, “Word.”